How to Get Through the Pandemic: Family Edition

Dr. Jeff Gardere, psychologist and professor at Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine, offers these tips to help keep the peace and nurture our relationships during these difficult times.

1. Avoid stereotypes. Try not to fall into old stereotypes, i.e. women handling childcare and household responsibilities. Men and older children should pitch in with cooking and cleaning up around the house. Families should work together as a unit to share household chores, cleaning and grocery shopping. Each family member can choose a job that works for him or her, but no one should be doing the lion’s share alone.
2. Share your feelings. Try and keep open communication with your spouse, family and friends about what you’re feeling in terms of work and family stress. In some homes, the children are attending Zoom classes in different rooms, the parents are working in different parts of the house and while everyone is physically in the same location, they are not connecting emotionally. Don’t let that happen. Use the physical closeness to inspire emotional closeness and sharing, especially during meals or when watching television together in the evening.
3. Do fun family activities together. This can include taking walks or hikes, biking or running as a family. Other ideas include working together on a puzzle, planning a paint night or starting a book club where everyone reads the same book that has been voted on by all family members and then discussed during a pizza party.   
4. Schedule a couple’s date night. Even if it’s just watching a movie on Netflix at home with some popcorn or a simple evening walk, carve out some time for the two of you and make sure to stick with it. It will help if you have something to look forward to and a time you know is reserved just to reconnect.
5. Plan alone time. Each partner should carve out some alone time as well. If there are young children in the home, choose a time when the kids should be the complete responsibility of one partner so the other gets a break. Taking shifts so each partner has some free time will go a long way toward nurturing the relationship. If you’re tending to yourself and feeling fulfilled and energized, you’ll have more to give to your significant other and your family.
6. Keep up with friends. Friends are a vital lifeline offering much-needed support. To nurture these relationships, schedule a regular weekly phone or Zoom meeting or find time to meet up in a park or restaurant where you can eat outdoors with proper social distancing.
7. Take care of your health. Exercise and proper sleep will keep you rejuvenated and energized to fulfill extra roles and be kind to your significant other and family members. Don’t overeat or use alcohol to ease stress. Meditation, yoga, breathing exercises or prayer will do a better job of stress relief and put you in a frame of mind to interact in a healthy way with your spouse and children.

As we keep hearing and experiencing, these are uncertain times. Still, we should not think of the pandemic only in terms of what we have lost, but more importantly what we have gained or even re-gained! With just a little effort, we can learn to enjoy and appreciate this extraordinary time with our families and loved ones. We may not get another opportunity like this again.